Do you look for the happy outcome each day, or do you find yourself focusing on what has gone wrong and what could go wrong?
Our feelings are powerful drivers – they can drive us to achieve great things in life or they can drive us to despair and self-destruction (self-sabotage).
But our emotions are not untameable runaway horses, although we may feel like they consume and control us at times.
Our emotions are tameable, and we can master them to help us move onwards and upwards.
What we dwell on, becomes real.
What we do often, we become.
If we dwell on dark thoughts, endlessly repeating negative scenarious and words, we’ll become down and despondent.
If we dwell on the negatives, we can only see the negatives. If we focus on our losses and our misfortunes we’ll be overwhelmed by feelings of sadness and regret.
Life ain’t easy – terrible things do happen, but don’t we have ambitions for our future to consider? Don’t we want love and laughter in our lives?
If we dwell on the things that make us happy, we’ll be happier. If we’re happier, more interesting and enjoyable things will happen to us. And when the bad things happen, we’ll be in a more logical frame of mind to deal with them, rather than allowing them to crush our spirit and ‘prove’ to us that we’re ‘no good’.
Bad things do happen, and many of us struggle with the challenges that we come across, but if we focus on the negative thoughts we’ll only drive ourselves crazy with self-doubt.
Your thoughts are yours – they are not separate to you, or something that ‘happens to’ you – they are yours to control and make use of.
Your emotions are yours – they are not separate from you, or something that ‘controls’ you – they are yours to experience and control.
Why not decide to acknowledge every feeling, and then turn your thoughts to other things?
“OK, I’m feeling disappointed about how I spoke to that person, and I’m worried they might think I’m stupid or rude. But on the other hand, I was rather surprised by their question, and I’m sure they’re not obsessing about my answer! It’s time to move on and think about what I’ll be doing this evening with my dog / brother / friend / computer / art project.”
Your thoughts control and direct your emotions. Take charge! Think decent thoughts!
Please leave your comments below if you ‘get’ what I’m talking about – it’s not just me that thinks the same negative thoughts over and over again is it?
[Wedge]
Hey Wedge
You’re not the only one! I ‘get’ what you’re talking about.
For me, I think over and over again in my head about how I could have acted differently (better) in a situation… often involving how I said something / what I said to someone. I can definitely relate with your example. I always find myself thinking I sound stupid…
Also actions… Slightly different example, but I remember when my friend had a fit at a gig, and for ages afterwards I worried about whether I’d done the right thing. Even though I probably did everything I could, even if I could have done more I shouldn’t have spent ages dwelling on it, because you can’t change what already has happened.
So yeah, moving on is good. =]Interesting post Wedge.
“For him/her who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends;
but for one who has failed to do so, his/her mind will remain the greatest enemy.
For man, mind is the cause of liberation and the mind is the cause of bondage. Mind absorbed with sense objects is cause of bondage, and mind detached from sense objects is the cause of liberation.”
Philosophical Meditations
the importance of self-control of your emotion? is it the emphasis of this article.
but, have you ever thought about that one’s emotion condition is well fitted to serve its environment. a person lived in a adverse condition have to find a way to save himself out of there. and he resorted to his cognition, running deeper and deeper into himself, which will definitely make him look depressing.
Thank you for your thoughts Wiliam, and everyone.
Our emotions can indeed drive us towards bettering our position, and of course our emotional response is valuable and valid. We mustn’t dismiss our emotions. I’ve discussed how our emotions can run-away with us, and how our actions can be self-destructive. The focus of my thoughts are regarding mastering our reactions and actions, and being in control of our lives – enjoying our emotional variety rather than enduring them.